gabriel's birth

It had been weeks now that I wanted Baby Gabe out of my belly! I had gotten so big and I was so tired. My pelvic bone hurt when I slept sideways so there was no way I could sleep that way. Unfortunately there was no way I could sleep on my stomach either! I had to pile up pillows behind me so I could sleep sitting up. This took a toll on my back! Everyday I would wake up with a sore back which made it no fun to sleep. Plus, I was waking up almost every hour to go to the restroom. As much as I enjoyed having the little man in my belly it was time to evict him! I tried everything! I went on long walks, I ate the prego pizza at Skippilinis that is supposed to put you in labor, my doctor even scrapped my insides. Ok...maybe I did not try everything but I do know I wanted little Gabe out. I could tell he was a big baby and at 4'11' I was running out of space for him. I remember that I wanted a sign...any sign that labor was imminent.

I remember waking up on Wednesday, March 23rd thinking to myself, "well...I am due on April 5th and so I still have some days to go. I can't sit here and wait for it to happen because it feels like FOREVER! I need to drop it and just let it be, he will come when he wants to come." That day I felt more relaxed and less anxious. Tony had taken the day off and we had gone to SF to babysit Michayla. We had a great time together! Lindsey decided to cook dinner for us when she got home from work. At around 7:30pm, as we were finishing our meal, I felt a sudden back pain (just for a second or two)...something very different than what I had experienced in the past. I remember feeling a bit happy, "yay! this was my first labor sign" I thought. I was waiting patiently for Lindsey to finish her sentence so I could share that I had finally felt my first sign. Honestly, I wasn't sure if this was even a true sign, but because it felt so different I thought "why not!"

Before Lindsey finished her sentence and before I was able to tell them the good news I jumped out of my seat as I felt I started peeing on myself. "Oh my god!" I screamed, "my water broke!...wait, maybe I am peeing...ok, no I think my water did break" We all began to panic, but Lindsey quickly took control and began to plan for what was going to happen next. She got me to the shower and brought me some change of clothes. Tony began making phone calls and then we were off to the hospital.

I was so nervous to get in the car as I was not sure what would happen next but I was so happy to think that Gabe was coming, my little man was on his way and we would all get to meet him! "Ok.." I thought to myself, "don't panic...stay in control and don't loose it!" I had to tell that to myself because I am such a wimp and I can easily start to faint out of fear. When I got to triage I was feeling good, still leaking but with no pain. Next to me was another lady moaning from her contractions. This was not helping as I knew I was about to follow her down the same pain path. Because I had cholestasis during my pregnancy, I did not have to wait until I was 4 cm dilated to get admitted. The doctor wanted me under direct supervision to make sure the baby and I were doing well.

Within an hour or so my whole family and a few friends were at the hospital...hanging out until they were told to go home as it seemed that my labor was going to take a long time. I labored throughout the night...dealing with my contractions as they came and went. "Not bad" I thought, I can do this! Fortunately my ObGyn was on call when I arrived to the hospital. After laboring for a good long time she decided to give me a break and I was given some drugs to help me sleep for an hour. After that my labor slowed down and they decided to give me Petocin to speed it up. When I heard Petocin I quickly said, "epidural pleeeeease!" There was no way I was going to experience petocin-full-contractions!

Almoust 24 hours later from my water breaking I began to feel the epidural fade away and I could feel the pressure and crazy desire to want to push. "Oh no...here it comes!" I thought and began to panic. I called Tony and asked him to please try to calm me down. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and asked the nurse to check me to see if it was time. She thought that it wasn't but after checking me she was surprised to see that I was 10cm dilated and fully ready to push.

Everyone got into position and got me ready to begin pushing. The nurse called the doctor for help but did not worry because it usually takes first time mothers 2 hours on average to deliver. Tony took one leg, my mom took the other while Terrie and Vicky watched and waited for little Gabe. I pushed with all my might. The first thing that came out was Gabe's hair, a small little curl! The nurse began to panic...this wasn't going to take two hours... the baby was coming out fast! And like the stereotypical story of ObGyns, the doctor showed up,all chippery, just to catch the baby.

I know this is already a long post but...My mom once told me "if i am not in the delivery room I will never speak to you again!" She denies she ever said that to me! Anyways, I knew I wanted my mom there for support. I know when I am going through some rough times my mom has a way of being there to calm me down and she becomes very soothing. Although I was so entranced in what I was doing during the delivery, I was somehow aware of my mother's reaction more than anyone else. She has always talked about labor like it is a piece of cake and always dismissed the complaint of pain. However, watching me go through it was NOT easy for her. She had to step away at one point and Vicky had to hold my leg because my mother had become overwhelmed. She pretended to go wash her hands but I knew that she went to wipe away her tears. She finally composed herself and came back to continue holding my leg. After it was all over and everyone became so excited with the baby, my mother never left my side. She just stayed there and held my hand as I recovered from the shock (it was a hard recovery for me since I was having compulsive shakes). The experience though, was very emotional for all. As soon as he came out everyone (my mom, Vicky, Terrie, Tony and I) was crying.

I couldn't believe my little baby had just arrived...Gabriel Alarcon Avila was born on March 24th at 7:49pm. He weighed 7 pounds and was 21 inches long. Welcome to our family Baby Gabe!

Waiting for Baby Gabe...

Mom calls Eddy when the baby arrives and puts the phone down...all he could hear was Gabe crying in the background...he puts the phone on speaker and everyone hears Baby Gabe, they were all excited to know he had finally arrived!

Proud Tio and grandpa!

Grandpa came prepared with a celebratory drink!

Proud Father...

Proud Mother...

Michayla meets her little cousin!

buggie's home remodeling project

My little man has been growing in my belly for nine months and he has been "remodeling" his habitat along the way. My belly grew like crazy!!! Just when I thought it was so big and it couldn't possibly get any bigger, it would continue to grow! I had people ask me left and right if I was carrying twins or they assumed that I was ready to pop any minute but when I told them I still had 5 weeks left, they would laugh in shock and in horror of how much more I had left to grow. Honestly, I can't complain much of how big I got. I am a very short girl, 4'11' (and a half). I don't really have much space in my torso as it is very short. In order for Buggie to grow big and strong my belly had to protrude outwards.

I have to say I love how my belly looked pregnant...well, that is up until I was 32 weeks or so. After that I looked like a walking circus. Unfortunately I got stretch marks at the end of it all, but I don't mind those as they are Buggie's marks on my skin that say "I was here, circa 2011." So here are the photo chronicles of my growth. I stopped taking pictures at the end but decided on one more just to have a record of how big I got. Fortunately I took it just in time, Gabe was born 4 days later.

12 weeks and 2 days

First picture documenting my belly growth...I swear I thought I was showing, no wonder everyone thought I was crazy!

16 weeks and 2 days

17 weeks and 4 days

19 weeks and 5 days

21 weeks and 2 days

22 weeks and 5 days

25 weeks and 5 days

27 weeks and 5 days

29 weeks and 5 days

37 weeks and 5 days (4 days before Gabe was born)

our new AMP website!!!!

I am so proud to announce that Alarcon Murakami Photography has a new website!!!! For a while I have been working on this website on my time off and I just couldn't wait for it to be ready to unveil to the public. This is extremely important for us as that is the first thing people ask for...a website to see our work and get more information. I am feeling a little more official than before (he, he). Now I need to rework our blog and continue pushing our marketing forward to get more customers. I really hope AMP can take off and do great things. I really believe we can do an amazing job and we have the passion for it, I hope others can see that too!

Please visit:
http://alarconmurakami.com/

six out of six: personal growth

Before I go into this post I must ask why does life get so busy? It is so hard for me to slow down and write what is going on and I feel as if I always have to play catch up. Well, lets just hope that I can find a balance in my life because I am definitely craving to slow down.

Ok, so this post is on personal growth. Honestly, I don’t remember what I was thinking when I decided to include this on the list. Thus, I will make this post on personal and professional growth. Back in May of this year Vicky, Radha and I launched our own photography business, Alarcon Muakami Photography. Honestly I am so proud of all our hard work that went into launching this business. We have applied for business license and so we literally are a legit business. We were also able to get a business loan so that means....we need business to pay it back! Vicky and Radha are the Photographers and I am the Creative Director. Luckily we all three have lots of experience working together as we used to have our own dance group back in middle school and high school. This dance group was successful for many years, we rented a dance studio, we fundraised to purchase our costumes and we held large performances for our families, friends and the community. There was no way that we were going to let that group spirit go to waste and so we have now decided to pursue another love of ours, photography.

Honestly, this has been a lot of work because we all have our own jobs and thus we have to work on the weekend and at nights. We are still working on our official website, should be up in two weeks and finalizing our blog. But we have created a business brochures for marketing and have already started donating to fundraisers to help give back to the community. What we need to work on more is publicity. We need to get our name out there and keep promoting the business. We also need to push on getting more clients. All it takes is time and effort. I give it one more month to get everything set to go and then the three of us will work on pushing this forward. Will keep you updated with how everything is going, but as of now I am so happy we have decided to start this adventure…and it truly has been one!

Please check us out at:
http://www.alarconmurakami.com/
www.alarconmurakami.com/blog
http://alarconmurakami.instaproofs.com/

Minutes before we went live, such an exciting moment!

Our work on display at the gallery.

Delicious food at our Wine and Cheese event.

Announcing the company and thanking all that helped make this posisble. Special thanks to Tony for all his hard work and support. Thanks Honey!

So many wonderful people came to support us!

three out of six: love and married life

I heard someone today say that once you get married everything changes because of money, kids, etc… I can’t even remember the list. I sat quietly and thought of my relationship with Tony and tried to reflect on how our relationship has changed. I came to the conclusion that yes, our relationship has changed but for the better. I feel our love just gets stronger and stronger…you may say this is cheesy, but I am being honest. We have become a family and we both appreciate what each has to offer. In terms of money, we both decided to have one joint account (*everyone gasps*). There are some that think that they are losing their independence if they have a shared account and so they choose to keep individual accounts and pay a percentage of the bills. Whatever option works for your relationship is fine, but for us we decided that having a joint account makes life easier for both. Actually, this helps us feel more like a unit and allows us to make decisions that are best for the family as a whole. What I love best about our married life is that we have goals for the family (besides our own individual goals). Our short-term goal is to pay off all our debt (minus the mortgage) in 3 years to be able to achieve our long-term goal of purchasing a bigger house in Berkeley. Tony and I get so excited to see our debt number decrease with every paycheck we get and we can’t wait for it to reach ZERO.

But back to married life, I have been married for a year and 2 months now and I have to say I love being married and love being Mrs. Avila. It can be a little challenging that most of my friends…virtually all, aren’t married. They spend their free time going to clubs, dating…pretty much going where the wind takes them. It is fun but I have to say that I am done living my life that way. Actually, getting married did not create the idea that I am now chained to a life of homemaker. I am still very free to travel, to do what I want to do in life. Tony supports me in every decision I make. I will say that my mentality has changed though; I now make decisions that are best for the two of us and not just for me. It feels nice to think that we have started our own little family unit.

one of six: work and business

Upon graduating from Berkeley I thought… “Now that I have my degree I will get the job of my dreams and begin my career doing something I always wanted to do.” WRONG! This is not how my happy ending played out; actually it wasn’t happy at all. For the most part, this past year was a hard one when it came to finding a job. The interviewing process is so daunting and to top it off the job market was at its worst due to the economy. Luckily, I found a job early on with a consulting firm that worked in the financial industry. At the beginning I thought: “great, this is something I really want to do” and “this job will open doors to many more opportunities for my career”. I was determined to give 200% to this job and prove that I could succeed in corporate America.

Quickly…within the first 2 weeks, I found out that not only had I signed up to work for a corrupt man, but I had sold my soul to the devil! It was a place where the owner treated everyone with so much disrespect. And believe me, I was not the only unhappy employee, everyone there was miserable! He had a turnover rate of 100%. I had read all the bad reviews about him and his company online, but I figured it was from a few disgruntled ex-employees. After working there, I realized those reviews were all true. Regardless of how we were treated, I decided to stay and prove to myself that I could do it. However, with each day that went by I felt as if my self esteem was being sucked out of my bones. I believed less and less in me as a strong individual and I lost all the hope I had in myself. What saddened me the most was noticing that all my dreams had vanished away, they were converted into dust and not one single particle was left for me to hold on to. I was experiencing my first “abusive relationship” and I had created a nasty dependency on my abuser.

My ambitious side is what kept me pushing forward, I knew I could handle the job; however, I did not realize what I was doing to myself in that miserable nightmare until the day I came home crying. I cried for 4 hours straight, scaring my husband and my kitties. I could not talk, I could not eat, and all I could do was cry, cry and cry. I had hit rock bottom and my body felt too weak to even get up. Finally when I calmed down, Tony said to me “I knew you were miserable at your job but I never knew it was this bad.” He reminded me that I did not have to work for that company, that it was ok to resign and find a job where I was happy. Thankfully I had him (the positive Tony…my rock). I was one of the lucky ones at that company who was married and did not have to rely on only one income to survive. This cushion provided me with the opportunity to quit my job so I could find a better place to start my career. That night I decided to quit (however I still waited out till the end of the month).

Six months went by from the day I quit to the day I started at my new job…yes, it took me that long to find a job. At first I took some time to heal. I literally had hit rock bottom and had lost all my motivation and drive (so unlike me!). But with time I taught myself how to walk again with my head high. During this time I worked part time in a few place helping out friends during the busy season. It wasn’t until February that I felt more like myself again and decided I was going to look for a job in full force.

Terrie, my mother-in-law, said “once it rains it pours.” She couldn’t be more right! All of a sudden I was contacted for interviews and was even given multiple offers. This time I had the power to make the decision on which job to take. At this moment in my life I realized that what mattered most to me was the work environment. My priorities had changed and I was looking for a job that offered me work-life balance (I was working 60+ hours at the consulting firm). I was looking for a company that believes in its employees and one that treats them with respect and sees them as an integral part of the engine that drives its success. I also did not let my ambitious side make the decision on what job to take; instead, I decided to take the job that was best for my family because I no longer was one, therefore I took the job that was best for me and Tony. I decided to work for MedAmerica. I did not disclose what company I was with in the past, but I will disclose the name of the company I am working for because I am so proud of it. I love my company and I love my job. It is literally one of the best places to work for in the Bay Area, literally! The people there are amazing and they all support each other in every way possible. I have amazing benefits and my pay is decent ($8,000 more than my last job and only working 40 hours a week). It is in the healthcare industry which is not what I had ever envisioned, but I am learning so much and I am developing personally and professionally.

What is best about my job is that I do not have to stress about it after hours, I am free to come home and relax and enjoy my afternoons. Working there quickly made me regain my strength and I became the person that I once was. Soon after starting to work for MedAmerica I decided to begin my own company with my sister Vicky and my Friend Radha. Within two months we launched a Wedding Photography business, Alarcon Murakami Photography. We applied for a business license, a business loan and we dove into this great adventure as new business owners (more on this on a later post). I was dreaming again and my go-getter personality was back on full force!

Looking back at this past year I have realized that my experience with the consulting firm was not that bad…it was actually a great learning experience. It taught me what to value and what to look for in a job. It made me realize that I did not have to settle for less because I am worth so much more. It helped me understand that when searching for a job it is not just the company interviewing me but also me interviewing the company. And the best of all, it taught me how not to run a business and what kind of leader I do not want to be. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but never imagined it would be this great. I guess things always happen for a reason; maybe I just needed a wakeup call…

i am still alive and working!

Picture by Diego Rivera

LIFE! For a while I felt as if I was living real life; however, now that I have gotten a taste of what real life is I have come to the conclusion that what I was living before was a fantasy experience. College was heaven on earth… yeah it was tough at times, but the experience itself was amazing. Being able to sit under a tree and study, chatting with friends while grabbing a coffee, going to the gym to take Pilates classes, or simply having time to sit and decipher Rousseau’s The Social Contract made life pleasurable and fascinating. The most important aspect of school (at least according to me) was being able to travel around the world and visit places without worrying if the sky was going to fall on me. That was life! No wait…that was a fantasy world!

Now that I have begun to work full time (and thank god for having a job!) life, as most people know it, has slapped me in the face and has looked me straight in the eye with a mischievous smile showing the satisfaction that it has captured yet another victim for its slave camp. Yeah, I have finally stepped into the real world and have smelled its odor of money and sweat that have penetrated my clothes, my skin and my bones; a smell that no shower can wash away.

This sounds miserable you tell me; I tell you not really. As much as it stinks, I have entered the real world with so much excitement. It is a process of being alive…of living life. I look forward to learning new skills that will help me in my career path and of opportunities that will open up doors to I-don’t-know-where. I get thrilled at the idea that my work is making an impact on businesses around the country and potentially around the world. I also enjoy the fact that work really tests your limits, breaks you down and then reassembles you stronger and more capable.

It is not easy. The transition has made me feel as if I were riding a rollercoaster without a seatbelt…yet at times I find myself throwing my hands up in the air trying to enjoy the ride. Today I started the beginning of my fourth week at the job and I finally feel as though I have earned the right to sit down and write these words.

I am working as a business analyst at a consulting firm that does strategic consultancy for financial services companies. And man did I set myself for a crazy ride. In one week I learned so much about investing to be able to speak to portfolio managers at various wirehouses. I have learned so much about all types of securities, different investment platforms, compliance, regulations, you name it. I have never stopped learning and I know that I have so much to continue learning over the weeks, months and years. The best thing about this job is that every project assignment is different and thus I will be able to learn a lot about the financial world, not just about one sector of the industry. It is pretty exciting to be able to have a conversation with a financial advisor and not feel completely lost or intimidated. I am also very proud to be able to take on the challenge in an environment that expects nothing but hard dedication and commitment.

These past three weeks at the job I have worked 12 hour days, have taken 20-30 minute lunches or at times no lunch at all, and have come home from a long day at work to continue working 2 more hours more on my own time. I have become a workaholic! Not because I want to be one but because the high expectations at my job have pressured me to work hard to prove that I am capable of doing the job. I have carried on the responsibility and the weight of my project home and have not gone one day without falling asleep thinking about it, dreaming about it and waking up thinking about it. It has driven me insane! However, I have enjoyed the challenge and I am proud to say that today, the first day of my fourth week, I finally feel as if I have gotten to a point where I can feel satisfied to leave work at work and enjoy my personal life at home. I feel as if I have finally freed myself from the chains of being a newbie at work and have settled in to a good pace that keeps me sane.

Things to remember as I continue my journey into the real life:
1. I must remember to have a balanced life- as hard as this may be because of the expectations at work, I must remember that life is not just about making money but also about enjoying time with family and friends
2. I must remember to breath, to pause and to enjoy the ride
3. I must remember to have my tea in the mornings with a little breakfast, eat lunch and eat snacks throughout the day (I have lost weight at this job for not eating)
4. I must remember that my home is sacred and no place to bring in the stress from work – try hard not to bring work home (I was doing this out of pleasure! Crazy girl!)
5. And my last one, I must remember to not become a workaholic!

Graduation: May 2009

After many years...I finally graduated! This is a huge accomplishment for me because there were so many obstacles that kept on standing in my way. I began at Berkeley in the fall of 2002 and due to financial reasons had to withdraw for two years to work full time. This decision broke my heart because I had worked so hard in high school to attend college, and then there I was, (forced) to take time off. Everyone kept on telling me that after working full time it would be hard to go back to school, but I never listened. I always knew it in my heart that I would return because that was the goal I had given myself and I would not stop until I had accomplished that goal. After paying the school what I owed and all the loans I had taken out, I was finally able to return to continue my education. Taking two years off had actually proved to be a great decision because I came back more mature, more committed and I possessed a stronger work ethic. While working full time I was also able to meet the man that would become my husband, Tony.

Returning to school this time around was much easier for me because I had Tony by my side. He helped me so much in so many ways that my accomplishment is as much his as it is mine. This time around I was able to take advantage of many things Berkeley had to offer, such as studying abroad in Portugal and on The Scholar Ship. Those experiences have shaped who I am and allowed me to meet so many wonderful people that are very important in my life. During my first two years at CAL I met some wonderful friends that I treasure so much, but the lucky thing is that my last three years at CAL I was able to meet another group of amazing friends that I would have never met had I stayed in Berkeley and graduated in time.

I am proud to say that in a total of five years I double majored in International Political Economy and Latin American Studies, I minored in Portuguese Language and Literature, I studied abroad in Portugal and overseas in a program that allowed me to visit: Italy, France, Greece, Portugal (again), Panama, Ecuador, Tahiti, New Zealand, Australia, China (Shanghai), and Hong Kong. Berkeley gave me the best education and the most extraordinary opportunities; I am very thankful and proud to be a UC Berkeley Alumn!

But before I finish, I dedicate my degree to my mother because I would not be the woman I am if it wasn't for her. She is the strongest woman I know and she has sacrificed her life for her kids. Thanks to her I was able to have the opportunity to obtain a bachelor degree and her belief in me gave and continues giving me the strength to push forward.